it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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