She's JV to your varsity
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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