I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
