I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize