What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
