so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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