Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
