I want to have your abortion
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
