Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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