She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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