It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
