sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
