Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
