porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
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