your thong is hanging out like whoa
Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
