I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
