So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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