I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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