my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
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