I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
