Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
