You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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