Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
