I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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