I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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