first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
