Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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