Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
