Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
