just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
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