so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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