Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
