he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
