Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize