Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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