so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
