i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
