i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
