She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
