"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize