I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
