I'm gonna have a badass scar
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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