he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
