she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
