My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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