I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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