i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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