Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
