im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
