I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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