How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
