There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
