I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
