Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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