you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
