I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
