my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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