I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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