he puts the penis in happiness.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
