I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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