Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
sick fucks of a feather flock together
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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