i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
is that a dick in a sweater?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
