I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
