Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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