Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
So much rum. So many feels.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
