I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
