Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
