Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He better not be in your backpack
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
